And Here I am Again…Hating the Thickness in the Middle 

I can tell you without hesitation that my body is strong and it has come along way but in the same breath also say I’m not where I want to be. I sit down, stand up, bend over hating my mid section. It’s very close to an obsession. There is almost no time in my waking moments that I am not thinking about how to get rid of “the tire”. In recent days, I have recommitted to getting in the best shape of my life and my goal is to be strong af! I’m hoping to sculpt this body into what I feel is perfection for me. Sounds great huh? Here’s the thing: I go through this over and over and over again. The cycle starts with “ugh! I hate my stomach and back fat!”, then that moves me into taking action to get in better shape but within weeks the “other me” creeps in like a voice in my head telling me “oh, you can cheat this one time” and “you need to learn to love yourself just as you are” and my favorite ” just give up, you will never get the body you want” and from there, I give in eating whatever I want, often times bingeing, enjoying it for the moment and then quickly regretting it. Then the cycle starts over with the shame and guilt..back on track smh. The problem with negative body image is it also, often times, causes depression, binge eating and anorexia and also low self esteem leading to a low quality of life. There’s nothing wrong with having goals and wanting to look better for yourself but when it becomes an obsession bringing you constant negative thoughts about your body AND food, it’s not healthy. So, I will continue to work towards my goal of being strong and fit BUT it will be from the inside, out this time! Conquering the internal battle ultimately will show up in not only my mental health but also my physical health. It all works together! Practicing daily appreciation of what my body does for me along with being mindful of the negative self talk that is going on in my head and immediately replacing it positive and healthy thoughts , will be the beginning of building better habits! With time and consistency a change will come and for sure it’s all worthwhile! Note to self: NOW YOU KNOW YOU MUST DO BETTER! Watch me work! 💕💕


Published by Iamaprildjones

I am just a mess with a message! Taking it one day at a time....

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