Over the last two months I have been stressed beyond belief. My focus has been only on my job and making sure I get everything done. The problem is there wasn’t enough time to do what was asked of me and most tasks were impossible to accomplish(I am sure this is the story of many peoples’ lives). While climbing up the proverbial corporate ladder, I found I had some how ended up in a hole…a big…black…hole. I already didn’t sleep well but during the last two months I began to have nightmares about my tasks at work and suffering anxiety every day before I would go to work. On top of this, I have an asshole for a boss. Whoever said who you work for makes all the difference in the world hit the nail right on the head. I went into work last weekend and had my last “blow out” with this ridiculous, callous, conniving, individual and I said that’s it. I left his office and went into the bathroom and cried and cried. It was there I had an epiphany. I sat in the bathroom stall and thought ” I have been working my ass off, pouring every bit of my heart and soul into someone else’s business. SOMEONE ELSE’S BUSINESS! No thank you for your efforts, no pat on the back, no you’re doing a great job just here is something else for you to do when you get done with the other 9,000 impossible tasks that we have asked you to do. At that moment and in that moment it just seemed ridiculous. I know the majority of the world works for someone else but I think I have had JUST about enough. Enter my goals and dreams.
I have always wanted to own my own business but if I am being honest, I never thought I was smart enough or capable enough to pull it off. I have for about the last 5 years been saying I am going to be a personal trainer but because I lack the confidence to follow through I never put a real effort in getting it done. Over these last few years, I slowly have worked on my certifications in becoming a personal trainer and also health coaching because helping others with their weight, food addiction and self-esteem would be a dream come true. I just needed to work on myself (that’s what I was telling myself) before I would completely step out there so when I had that epiphany in the bathroom stall last weekend I decided then and there to make an exit plan so I can put all my heart and soul into what I believe I should be doing with my life. I can’t tell you how scary it is when you think about leaving a job with benefits to go into the unknown but when weighing the option of staying in a job and being miserable and taking a chance to not just work a job for money but to live a life that allows you to do what you love and help others while doing it, it becomes a no brainer.
As I typed that last sentence I thought about how people would think I am crazy for leaving my job because it’s safe and I know that is why so many people stay on their jobs. To me it’s like staying in a bad relationship. Sure, the norm has been to stay on a job your whole life and retire from that job but most people are too scared to move and try anything different. Too complacent and too “comfortable”. I, at one time, felt there was honor in staying with a company and being loyal to that company but now I feel quite the opposite. I refuse to live a safe, unhappy life. I refuse to live a cookie cutter life. I refuse to live someone else’s dreams. I refuse to be placed into society’s box of norms. I will be who I am, unapologetically and live the rest of my life doing what I love when I love even if from a financial standpoint I don’t turn out to be a wealthy. From THAT day forward living the life I love, loving the life I live!